Wouldn’t it be great if you can live your life fearlessly?
Do you watch hero movies?
When I think of how fearless human being looks like, straight away scenes from these movies popping up in my head. But the real life seems to be a bit different than what we see in Cinemas, right?
Fear can be so solid and powerful. It can dominate your every decision. I know how it sounds but you also know it is true.
If you’re reading this my friend and you have never ever experienced fear in your life please give me a sign, comment, message me, anything. I would be privileged to get to know a fearless human being. I haven’t met yet anyone who hasn’t got fear or worry in their life. It seems that it is something deeply connected to our human nature in general.
How often do you find yourself scared or worried?
If the answer is too often, don’t panic my friend, that means you are just a human.
Statistics
I did a little research on the internet and guess what, I couldn’t find the exact number of documented phobias. Apparently, the list is growing day after day. On some psychology sites, it is over 520 phobias described.
Can you imagine that?
Statistics are showing that In the United States alone, in 2017 over 19 million people were suffering some kind of phobia.
Before I explain what is behind all of this phobias and fears, let me give you some very interesting facts.
The number one phobia in the United States is – Fear of Public Speaking. I was a bit shock to learn it is actually classified before the fear of death which is at number 5.
You will find so many different lists and classifications so I will just give you a random example of the top 10 human fears.
- Fear of an animal – rats, spiders, snakes, insects, cats, dogs, birds and so on.
- Fear of natural environment – heights, water, lightning, storms, earthquakes ext.
- Social phobia – Fear of public speaking & Fear of open and crowded spaces – Agoraphobia
- Fear of flying, bridges
- Fear of Germs
- Claustrophobia – Fear of small spaces
- Fear of holes
- Fear of death
- Fear of loneliness
- Fear of intimacy
Please have in mind this is just a fraction of all the phobias and fears out there.
Basically, it seems to me that we can fear everything that exists in our world.
In psychology, a phobia is described as much more than fear.
Apparently, it appears when a human being forms an excessive and unrealistic sense of danger about a situation or an object. It is related to extreme anxiety and panic attacks which include also physical symptoms like rapid heart rate, breathing difficulties ext.
It is amazing how powerful our consciousness and brain are. They can trick us to believe that something is real even if it is not true. We react with a real fear of possible danger. We feel helpless and out of control.
Even when we know with our intellect that something here is not right. For instance, there is no point in fearing fluffy animals – like cats, dogs, rabbits. They are unlikely to attack us and cause us some real damage. But again it looks like it is more powerful than us. The process starts and rises from our subconscious mind. The reaction is so fast, we lose control and often react automatically.
I know you would agree with me that it can cause us lots of troubles. Very often from an innocent little fear when we were kids, it develops into a serious phobia with all the panic symptoms when we become adults. Our whole life can be affected by it in a disturbing and not at all pleasant way. It might also make our relationships with others difficult.
“But why is that?”, you might ask yourselves.
The answer actually is pretty simple.
It is because we don’t actually know what is causing our experience. And where it comes from.
We innocently believe it is the outside trigger – whatever it is – animals, spaces, situations.
The truth is, it is always the same thing.
Everything that you feel is created in one place only and it is inside. It is not the trigger itself it is how you think about the trigger. And what you think and focus on, your consciousness makes real for you. So you experience the thoughts you focus on in a particular situation.
As I said it happens so fast because it is a learnt behaviour, and thought pattern. But once you realise it’s only thought, it is not real. You can start making a space between thinking and acting on your thinking.
Ok, now what? You know what’s been going on but what to do next?
Let me share a short story with you, it might help you understand my message.
It was supposed to be an easy walk in the mountain. I didn’t even have climbing shoes or any equipment and somehow we ended up climbing 1080m hill. To get to the top, we had to go through a high-pitched cliff. Walking on a narrow path, trying to hold on to whatever rocks we can because when we looked down all we could see was an enormous depth and clouds.
So as you can imagine I began to freak out. I was super close to just find a place where I can curl up, cry and stay there until somebody sends a helicopter to save me.
You can imagine how busy my mind was. All the disastrous thoughts, what might happen. How I was seeing the picture of me falling down the cliff. It was so real, my friends. And it almost got me. My heart rate was racing.
But deep down I knew I have a choice. To fall into the trap of my imagination or concentrate on what was happening at the moment. I saw an option for me to just don’t engage with my thinking. Instead, I concentrated on my breathing, it kind of helped me clear my mind.
I was doing what I could do, one step at a time, trusting myself. Looking forward, breathing, surrendering into the situation. Accepting it.
And guess what, I did it. I survived, again. And yes I’m really really afraid of heights.
But you know what I read somewhere and it stuck with me.
“A hero is not someone who doesn’t feel fear, it is the one who acts regardless of it”
So it is there but the heroes choose to not focus on the arising feeling and the fearful thoughts. That’s what makes them look fearless.
Be your inner hero. Find him inside you. He is there under the layers of insecure thinking. Under the scenarios for the future. In the silence of your mind.
And you might not feel it now but you are one step closer. This knowledge will take you further in achieving your wildest dreams and living fearlessly.
Like Will Smith once said, “After the moment of maximum fear there is the moment of maximum freedom”.
Once you see that fear is only in your head, you will be free of it. It will lose its control over you.
Oh, how I love bringing this knowledge to you.
It is what I’m here for.
I know you are eager to put it in practice, so I will wrap up here.
But stay tuned for my next articles, a lot more mind-blowing things to come.
Thank you for spending your time with me,
Speak to you soon,
With love,
Dimmi Valenti